Beer Made From Vag*na Is Now A Thing Because 2016

A few weeks ago it emerged that women are paying £147 to let strangers rub their vag*nas… Now it’s emerged that there’s a hot new product in the making. What you ask? Beer, created from the essence of a real vag*na.

Ah 2016, you never fail to amaze me. This new beer is made out of the vag*nal bacteria from Czech model, Alexandra Brendlova. Fancy.

As reported by the Mirror, the product, called Bottled Instinct, pretty much does exactly what it says on the tin.

Its makers create it by taking bacteria from the vag*na using a ‘gynaecological stick’. Then it’s sent to a lab where the lactic acid bacteria are ‘isolated and cleaned’ before being multiplied.

Bottled Instinct is produced by Vag*na themed group (yep you read that right), The Order of Yoni, who say that their aim is to capture the essence of ‘femininity’.

But they don’t stop there when describing their product, with their website stating:

Imagine woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice… Imagine her massaging you passionately and whispering into your ear everything you want.

Now free your fantasies and imagine that with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer. The golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavored with instincts.

Imagine the beer which every sip is a randez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kiss you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for that beer?

I wouldn’t give anything for that beer, but so far the Indiegogo fundraiser to get the product on the market has raised over a hundred pounds…

But there are some perks (well, if vag*nal bacteria is your thing) to donating a few pounds.

If you donate 2 euros (£1.58) you’ll get your name on the websites hall of fame, woo you!!!

For 7 euros (£5.53) you’ll get a free postcard with the models picture on it.

But if you go all out, and donate 10,000 euros (£7896) then you’ll bag a voucher for 60 bottles of Bottled Instinct made from your own girlfriends vag*nal bacteria – oh and if that wasn’t enough, you also get 40 grams of her bacteria to make your own weird concoction of home brew.

Personally I don’t see the attraction in drinking beer made from vag*nal bacteria. Just like I don’t see the attraction in eating bread made from vag*nal yeast.

Call me old fashioned but it just isn’t my thing…